Born Again American

This is dedicated to all of us going into 2012, left and right. Remember, we're all Americans.

The ‘What a Maroon’ Award

In honor of the great American philosopher Bugs Bunny, who first coined the phrase, I've decided to present the "What a Maroon" award each week to the politician or celebrity who makes the most sand-poundingly stupid statement of the week.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Democrat County Supervisor Peggy West of Milwaukee who supports Milwaukee's boycott of Arizona because she thinks Arizona does not share a border with Mexico.



What a Maroon!

Political Telephone Calls

I am a political junkie; politics fascinate me. That said, I am sick unto death of getting telephone calls at my home from politicians asking me to vote for them! It used to be that telemarketers would call, but that's now illegal. Of course, politicians exempted themselves from that ban--imagine that!

A number of years ago, a disc jockey named Tom Mabe turned the tables on a telemarketer. How many of us wish we could to this to those pesky political calls?

We Need a Gas Tax

Gas emissions are degrading the environment and generally making life miserable for people. Methane, hydrogen, sulfur, methanethiol, dimethyl sulfide and hydrogen sulfide are just a few of the byproducts released into the atmosphere each and every day by irresponsible people.

There is a growing sentiment that taxes should be used to curtail antisocial behavior, such as smoking or alcohol consumption. That being the case, we should start heavily taxing the causes of gas pollution ... vegetables!

One of the great unspoken truths is that vegetarians in general and vegans in particular are flatulent. Oh, they’ll deny it, just as the little girl with crumbs on her face will solemnly deny that she raided the cookie jar, despite empirical evidence to the contrary. Anyone who has spent any time around vegetarians knows this to be true.

I used to work at a newspaper where about half the staff were vegetarians. Our daily editorial budget meetings resembled the bean-eating scene in “Blazing Saddles.”

In particular, I remember our photo editor. The guy was a talented photographer with a keen eye and a wiz in the darkroom. He was also a strict vegan. I always knew when he entered a room because I could smell him. If my daily meetings with him were uncomfortable, the times I had to be in the tiny, enclosed darkroom with him were nightmares.

So, it’s time to take a stand against the planet-destroying practice of vegetarianism! We must urge our lawmakers to levy a “gas tax” on vegetables such as beans, peas, corn, cucumbers, green peppers, kohlrabi, onions and leeks, radishes, rutabaga and turnips and vegetarian restaurants before it’s too late!

The Republican Party Needs to Stop Listening to Colin Powell

Former Secretary of State and putative Republican Colin Powell told CNN that the party must stop listening to Rush Limbaugh. He couldn‘t be more wrong.

The party unfortunately listened to voices urging a centrist move and responded with the nomination of Sen. John McCain. The good senator based his campaign from the middle, supporting public financing of elections, amnesty for illegal immigrants, and a whole host of other programs enthusiastically endorsed by the left.

We got our collective rear end handed to us and rightly so because we forgot who we are. Rush reminds us of what conservatism means.

If we want to remain politically relevant, we need to remember who we are and what we stand for. Stop listening to Colin and listen more to Rush, Sean and Laura.